In Continuation with the previous post about Why do we have Expectations?
Letting go is not about giving up or thinking negatively of others. It’s about releasing our attachment to outcomes and eliminating the need for validation.
If we can address the three main reasons mentioned in, Why do we have Expectations?we can let go of the impulse to have opinions and expectations.
What’s your true motivation?
Why are you doing or saying something? Is it based on a genuine desire to engage in conversation or to act in a way that reflects your truth?
Your motivation is the foundation of your thoughts and actions. Be honest with yourself. You might be able to hide your intentions from others, but you can’t hide them from yourself. If you try, you’ll create needless suffering.
Think of your expected outcome and the worst- case scenario.
Are you okay with anything less than your ideal result? Can you live with it? If you can’t, revisit #1.
Have alternatives when you can.
I’m a big fan of plan B. This only applies to situations where you are waiting for a certain response. Having alternatives helps you move on. If there is no alternative, peacefully close the chapter knowing that you did your part.
Don’t take things too seriously or too personally.
Your expectations and opinions are yours only. The same goes for every other person—his or her judgments and opinions are theirs. This is a simple shift in perspective but can dramatically change how you interact with others.
You can move in the direction that’s right for you without personalizing what others say or do. You let others be.
Take inspired action.
Act from your heart, not ego. Do what matters to you the most, regardless of challenges or naysayers.
The same applies to you what you say. Speak from your heart. Only say what you mean and in the best supportive way possible. Your words are very powerful, so let them reflect your truth.
Accept human frailty.
You will slip and find yourself agitated or annoyed with someone. Don’t beat yourself up. Rethink and reframe—what can you do to accept the other person’s actions or position without judgment?
When others react in unexpected ways, give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re human too.
Forget about it.
This is the essence of letting go—saying or doing something and then completely forgetting about it. You don’t sit around waiting for feedback or validation. You have faith that things turn out for the best—no second-guessing or regrets. You accept the outcome as is while remaining open to guidance on what to do next.
When you let go of your opinions and expectations of others, you free yourself from attachment to specific results that are beyond your control. You can move forward with ease and clarity.
You interact genuinely, without hidden motives or disappointment. You become better equipped at embracing what others have to offer. Your newfound freedom creates opportunities for you to be of service to others in more intuitive and authentic ways.
To let go is to lovingly surrender to what is and be at peace with it.
Talking about The Wanting Mind and the power of expectations to create suffering, and that’s certainly true when it comes to our relationships. Our disappointment, irritation, anger, sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined they would: That my boss would compliment me on my monthly sales figures, that my wife would appreciate how well I cleaned up the kitchen. Rather than looking down and focused on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble.